The journey started for me in the Summer of 2018, when, after a visit to my Auntie’s on the 7th August, we briefly mentioned my little deceased brother, and after we contemplated finding him, we somehow instinctively knew between us that this is something we had to do for my late mum, as we felt sure that she had silently grieved for him for decades, and, as the daughter and sister left behind, as is so often the case, one feels an over-powering urge to put things right, after the death of a loved one.
On the 13th August I broached the subject with my dad, who was a little shocked at first of our impending mission but gave us “his blessing”, saying he would do everything he could to help, indeed, within the same breath he was quickly able to unearth baby David’s birth certificate within the depths of paperwork, our first and vital bit of jigsaw, which detailed David as being born on the 28th December 1972, and registered under Littleborough Registry office. However, no death certificate could be found for him. From looking at Sands Charity information for clarity on how and where to search, I was urged to make a telephone call to the nearby hospital Trust where my older brother and I had been born, and where I believed my little brother to have been born also, and I had a detailed conversation with a very understanding staff member, detailing my plight and on-going mission, and after leaving my email address for the necessary paperwork to be sent and completed, I waited. On the 20th August and after a week of seemingly endless waiting, I made another call to the medical legal office and spoke to the same lady, who was extremely apologetic as she had taken down my email address incorrectly, and, as she took my correct address, advised me that she had been speaking to a colleague about my plight and her colleague had recommended that I speak to the Registry office where my brother had been registered, as they might also have a record of his death certificate. I thanked her for this advice, which would later become invaluable.
On the 22nd August I sent an email to the Rochdale Registry office who covered the Littleborough area, asking if there was any death records on David and imagine my true amazement when I received a telephone call the very next day to advise me that they did indeed have a death certificate for David, a copy of which could be sent to me for a sum of £10.00! I obviously agreed to this in a heartbeat! The registrar was also able to advise me that baby David had been born in a different hospital to the one I had presumed in my email, which was also a great shock to us! With this newfound information I began searching Google to research the locality of cemeteries in and around the hospital in question and put together a list of half a dozen cemeteries and telephone numbers.
It was around this time that an old family friend who lived close to my parents during the 1970’s when the terrible event took place happened to telephone my dad, and upon my dad mentioning our plight to her, she offered her humble opinion that she thought that ‘baby David’ would be at Rochdale cemetery, and, as this was the second cemetery on my contact list, I felt propelled to ring them first. I therefore took the plunge on the 3rd September 2018 and telephoned the Rochdale cemetery, detailing my plight and the very understanding lady said that she would check records for me and let me know the following day.
I will therefore never forget finishing work the following day and absentmindedly opening an email from her, fearing little or no response, which was however a ‘treasure’ map of the cemetery with an X which clearly marked the spot! My knees nearly buckled and I felt physically sick. I could not truly comprehend at first what I was looking at! I had found my baby brother after only 6 weeks of searching; I had anticipated that I would be searching for a lot longer!! We were shocked further to discover that my brother had been placed in a public grave. We had always been led to believe that my brother was in a grave with an adult, indeed, my dad recollects the conversation held with the funeral director at the time, who advised that ‘baby David’ would be placed at the foot end of an adult, with the consent of the family. This was indeed common procedure back in the 70’s. Therefore my question back to the Registration Officer who had done the unthinkable for us was to ask her who was in the public grave with my brother? She was able to confirm on the 11th September the names of all the 11 people sharing the public grave, 6 of who were babies including ‘baby David’, born either asleep, hours or days old.
After the initial shock of learning he was placed in a public grave, contradictory to what was promised at the time, somehow the fact that he was placed with other babies has given the family great comfort, knowing where he is, and knowing that he was placed with other little ones!! The only thing left for us to do now as a family, is go and visit him and say hello to my little brother David.
I sincerely hope that this story has provided other families with hope that the un-thinkable can become reality and that you must never give up hope in finding your long lost babies. Back in the 1970’s this was how things were done, strange as it sounds, and I look and see how incredibly different things are handled today, all for the better! My only regret in all this is that I never did this whilst my mum was still alive, but I’m sure that she is very proud of what I have done for her and all the family!!
Naomi Clitherow