Our support is there for anyone who has experienced the death of a baby, no matter how long ago. We are contacted by people whose baby died as many as thirty or forty years ago as well as those whose baby died more recently but who are still grieving.  Sometimes we are contacted by another family member – an adult sibling or twin grieving for the loss of their brother or sister.

If this applies to you, please be assured that we are here to provide support and information. We have booklets and a range of certificates that can be customised to include details of a baby whose birth may not have been recorded elsewhere, to help you commemorate their life.

"Even though I have 3 lovely grown up children, not a day has gone by without me thinking about what happened to my first baby who was stillborn and swiftly taken away." 

Bereaved mum

Our support booklet Support and Information for Long Ago Bereaved can be downloaded here or printed copies can be ordered from our shop. Written with the help of bereaved parents, it gives ideas on how to commemorate a baby who has died long ago, explores changing attitudes to baby loss and advises how the charity can help. 

If you don’t know what happened to your baby, you may want to trace your baby’s grave or cremation record. We have another shorter leaflet Tracing a Baby's Grave or Record of Cremation to help guide you in the process. Our Bereavement Support team will be available through our Helpline for you to talk through how this may feel.

You may also find it helpful to read Finding Zoe. This book brings together stories of parents who wanted to trace their baby's grave and testimonials of those who have successfully done so. 

We understand it may be hard to know where to begin, so we are always here to help you along the way. You can contact our Helpline on 0808 164 3332 or via email on helpline@sands.org.uk. Our dedicated staff are here to listen and offer you a safe and confidential space to talk.

Tracing a baby’s grave or record of cremation booklet cover

Tracing a baby’s grave or record of cremation

Bereavement Support

We know that parents never forget their babies. We are often contacted by bereaved parents whose baby died many years...

Sands booklet with support for those long ago bereaved

Information and support for long ago bereaved

Bereavement Support

The death of a baby around the time of birth is a major bereavement that can have life-long effects on...

Downloadable booklets last updated: 18 May 2022.

Please note: We have amended an error on page 12 of a previous version of the booklet Information and support for long ago bereaved. The sentence previously read, "Until 1992, the legal definition of stillbirth was a baby born dead before 28 completed weeks of pregnancy." This has now been corrected.

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