Linda, laurie, blog, sands
Linda and Laurie, Mothers | 21 June 2017

During June 2017, as part of our 15 babies a day initiative, we will share 15 blogs by 15 people who have been affected by the death of a baby. By doing this we aim to show the sheer number of people who are affected by the tragedy of one baby’s death. Visit our 15 Perspectives webpage to view other blogs in the series.

Hello we’re Laurie and Linda and this is our story. On 18th October 2011 our world changed forever. We were together nine years and had fostered 8 children but always wanted one of our own. Even though there was less chance of success with artificial insemination I got pregnant very quickly. We did everything right; I took three months of vitamins before conception, didn’t smoke, drink or have any health problems.

Everything went well until the 21st week. We went for a scan and were told that they “Couldn’t find a heartbeat”. Those four words ripped our world apart. My legs went from under me. I had to lie down and couldn’t stop shivering. They brought a consultant in who confirmed what the midwife had said. I was induced that day. The labour lasted 10 hours and at 03:02 Lucas was born. They told me I had a boy. They wrapped him in a blanket and put him in the bed beside me. I was distraught. My world had ended. I wanted to know why…. What had I done wrong?

We gave permission for a post mortem hoping it would give us some answers. It took six months to get us the results. By that time I was already pregnant again. The doctor said that it was Turner’s syndrome but didn’t tell me any more details other than it was rare and not likely to happen again. When I got home I had to research it myself and found out that Turner’s only effects females. They’d made a mistake Lucas was a girl. We had to grieve all over again.

It’s been six years since we lost Lucas. Not a day goes by that we don’t think about her. She is our first born. This family is forever missing a piece but she will be in our hearts forever.

15 babies die before, during or shortly after birth every day in the UK. 15 too many. We want to reduce this number, but we need your help. Support our #15babiesaday initiative by donating or fundraising now.

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