Some might say we lost our son the other night
I would say “we didn’t lose him, we just lost this fight”
Some might say they don’t know what to say
I would say “I know, I’m sorry, (it’s not really, but,) it’s OK”

We called you our Gladiator, you were so brave
It was such a big battle; you were such a small boy to save
I called you my Sunshine, sang you that Sunshine Song
The first days of hope I didn’t know how much was wrong

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine”
Over and around your incubator, I sang
“You make me happy, when skies are grey”
I choked through my throat, though my heart rang
“You’ll never know dear, how much I love you”
I whispered, though I hoped and I cried
“Please don’t take my sunshine away...”
...It’s no use Gryffyn, I wish you hadn’t died

We've been living quietly for the last few days.
Blinking our way through a vacant gaze
Not coming to terms with what happened to our family
Just processing and thinking; trying not to say “why me?”

We're grateful for some signs of normality
Like shopping and bills, making dinner and TV
But then suddenly from somewhere, we remember what’s past
With it comes the aching, a pain that makes me gasp

Then we sit and we cling, our bodies betray our fear
That somehow, one of us, might suddenly disappear
And what should have been three, was two, would be one
Watch the sun turn to cloud, and no silver lining to come

And we stand in semi stupors in front of our Gryffyn - gone
Feeling how hard this curve ball has hit us side on
Gryffyn, my son, born too soon and too small
With a rare heart condition, you had no chance at all

They tried everything, my handsome; you should have seen the drive
Of the doctors who tried to save you, to keep you alive
They did everything; my sunshine; you could almost touch the love
Of those who supported us; let us know we were thought of

We are so, so, sad, Gryffyn, our beautiful, baby boy
But I hope this is not the last time we’ll ever feel joy.
I’m angry at Chance, for the life you will not live
But I’m grateful for the days you got, and so I forgive

We are sad but not sorry; forgive my verbosity
Whilst I thank every person, for their generosity
We love you and miss you, Gryffyn, but I smile as I write
Because I know we didn't lose 'you' - we just lost that fight.

Carolyn De Vishlin