Please be aware Erin has chosen to share pictures of Jude with her story.

Jude Mckinlay 

I had my son Jude at 38 weeks six days. 

I had a pretty straightforward pregnancy apart from loads of swelling which I was concerned about. 

I had two previous miscarriages, so we were so excited when we got past that 12 week mark. At 18 weeks we found out we were having a boy! But nothing could had prepared us for what was to come. 

I felt very neglected through most of my pregnancy as I had concerns about my swelling and very, very bad fatigue, but it was always put down to my job etc. I had an anterior placenta so never felt his movements very strong, but I knew what was normal for me. I let my midwife know about how they were very muffled and she put it on my notes. 

At 35 weeks I went into triage with reduced movement and got monitored and baby was all good. In Scotland the protocol is to get a scan within 48 hours of being in with reduced movement. Two days later, I was in for my scan. Baby was measuring on the “smaller” side but there was nothing to worry about the doctor said. 

I then tested positive for COVID at 37 weeks, let my midwife know and there was no concerns. I had reduced movements again at 38 weeks on Monday the 12th of September, same again, his heartbeat was all good. I was told I would be called for a scan, but I never was. 

On 15th of September at 2pm I felt like I was in labour with pains. A gush of blood came with pain and loads of clotting, and it never stopped. An ambulance was called and I was rushed to hospital. 

What was meant to be the best day of our lives turned to the worst. A midwife was trying to find babies’ heartbeat but nothing, they had to rush with a scanner and then the doctor confirmed our worst nightmare. 

I was in so much pain they had to make a plan as the bleeding wasn’t stopping. I had a massive placenta abruption and was rushed for an emergency c section. 

I got to meet our beautiful son once I woke up from surgery and it was so surreal, love at first sight. We got to keep baby Jude with us for five days and I’ll never forget the precious time we got to spend with our son. 

Seven weeks after having Jude our results came back from placenta pathology and my consultant told me they had findings of Chronic histiocytic intervillositis (CHI), which is a very rare placental condition. Our consultant told us if they had scanned me on the Tuesday or Wednesday like they should have after my reduced movement our baby would have been here as they would had noticed he was smaller. 

Jude, we will always remember you. One day, I will get a chance to be your mum again. My job as a mum will never be completed until I have found you, maybe in another world, in another timeline. Mummy and daddy love you so much xxx