Please be aware Amber has chosen to share pictures of her sons Hugo and Hudson with her story. 

My name is Amber and I want to share the story of my two beautiful sons, Hugo and Hudson, to raise awareness that baby loss can happen to anyone and that families like mine are still searching for answers. 

Both of my boys were born at 29 weeks due to me developing severe pre-eclampsia and heart failure during pregnancy. 

When I was pregnant with my first son, Hugo, doctors told me that if he didn’t arrive within seconds, we were both going to die. I was rushed in for an emergency C-section at just 29 weeks. Hugo truly saved my life. He was the most beautiful little boy with bright ginger hair, and everyone used to say he looked like a tiny old man. I fell completely in love with being his mum. 

Tragically, when Hugo was just three months old, I woke up to find him lifeless beside me. I never imagined something like that could happen to me. I was only 18 years old and losing him was the worst nightmare of my life. Many people don’t realise that this can happen to any family, at any time. 

A few weeks before Hugo passed away, I discovered I was pregnant again. I was terrified, grieving, and unsure how I would cope, but I believed Hugo would have been the most loving big brother. Later we found out we were having another boy and held a gender reveal to celebrate him, feeling certain Hugo had sent him to us. 

On 22 January 2025, our second son Hudson was born, again at 29 weeks, after doctors struggled to find his heartbeat. He arrived perfect, but I didn’t get the chance to see him straight away. Although this pregnancy had been physically easier, I lived every day with fear about what could happen. 

In the weeks before Hudson passed away, I took him to A&E multiple times because I felt something wasn’t right. I was told by professionals that I was likely just anxious because of what had happened to Hugo, and that Hudson was a different baby and the same thing wouldn’t happen again. A week later, that same doctor had to perform CPR on my son. 

On 14 May 2025, my world fell apart again. I woke up to find Hudson lifeless. Doctors tried to save him, performing CPR for 45 minutes, but they couldn’t bring him back. I was forced to relive my worst nightmare for a second time. I couldn’t believe this had happened to me twice. 

When Hugo died, I received results within three months, and his death was labelled as SIDS. But SIDS was never an answer to me, it didn’t explain why I lost my baby. It’s now been nearly a year since Hudson passed away, and I still haven’t received his results. Deep down, I fear it will again be labelled as SIDS, and I still won’t have the answers I need to move forward. 

All I can do now is keep my boys’ memories alive and continue going for them. By sharing their story, I hope more awareness can be raised about baby loss, premature birth, and the need for families to receive real answers and for parents’ concerns to always be taken seriously. 

Hugo and Hudson made me a mum, and I will carry them with me for the rest of my life.