Rebecca’s daughter Madilyn was born at 24 weeks in March 2022 and passed away five days later. After fighting for over a year to get a meeting with the hospital to discuss why it all happened, Rebecca was told that she didn’t receive the basic standard of care, but she didn’t receive an apology for the failings in maternity care. She reflects how every time she visits her daughter in the cemetery, she wonders what could have been if she had received the right care, and how seven months after she lost her daughter she started attending her local Sands group which has been good for helping her to know she's not alone.

I’ll start at the beginning from the day that I found out I was pregnant, because that was day that everything started and the day I was let down from.

From my second pregnancy I suffered from high blood pressure and preeclampsia so therefore was considered a high risk for my third and final pregnancy. 

I attended the maternity day unit on several occasions, being told that my blood pressure was slightly high and nothing to worry about. I also had a consultant for my pregnancy who I never saw in person, only one telephone appointment was made. 

I last had my blood pressure checked around 13 weeks along. Had my 20-week scan, still no blood pressure check. Was told at my 20-week scan that my daughter was measuring small and there were problems with the umbilical cord, so I needed a more in-depth scan to be done by a specialist the following week. After the specialist scan, I still had no blood pressure check or urine test. This is when I was told that my daughter wasn’t growing and putting on weight as she should be due to the umbilical cord problems, that she would most likely need to be delivered early and I would need weekly scans to check her progress. 

Having had three weekly scans, still no blood pressure or urine check, the last one was done at 13 weeks. After the third weekly scan, the scan specialist asked me when the last time my blood pressure and urine was checked. He then sent us to maternity day unit to have them both checked. 

On receiving blood pressure results I was then rushed to the delivery unit, where my blood pressure was that high that I was instantly bedridden and had multiple members of staff working on me with no explanation as to why. I was later informed that unless my blood pressure could be lowered then my daughter would be delivered within 24 hours. 

Unfortunately, the 24 hours didn’t last. I was originally told that I would be transferred to another hospital for delivery but then I was told that it was too unsafe for me to travel so the decision was made for my daughter to delivered via emergency c-section the same day I went in. 

After my daughter was delivered, she was then sent to the other hospital for neonatal care. I was transported to the same hospital the following day via ambulance so I could be near my daughter. 

Having arrived at their maternity unit I was allocated a room to myself. I was put in a room by the nurses’ station which was always busy and I felt I was a burden whenever I requested anything. 

My daughter was in neonatal where I could not fault the care she received. I went to see Madilyn as often as I could and the staff there were really good with me. Madilyn’s condition deteriorated and I was told that she wouldn't have long to live. My dad came and was with me when she passed. 

My treatment afterwards was far from acceptable. I was in a lot of pain and was only offered paracetamol. I felt very vulnerable. I was going through the worst time of my life and all I could hear was the laughter of the nurses. I felt the positioning of the room I was in was highly inappropriate for someone who had just lost their child. Every time I asked, even for the simplest of things, I had to wait so long me or my dad had to ask on several occasions if they were getting it. I was basically left alone to grieve with no support, and I didn't know what was happening. 

The cuddle cot was broken, and we had to wait until they found another one that worked. I spent a full day with Madilyn with my family spending time with her. That night I decided I wanted to go home to my two other children. The only reason I was at that hospital was no longer there and I just wanted to go home and feel safe. 

The neglect didn’t stop there. Once I was home, I was issued a district nurse to come and check my blood pressure the morning after I got home. As soon as the district nurse came in my house, she asked to see the baby. It was completely unacceptable that nothing was communicated to her before she came to see me, completely unprepared. It was extremely distressing for me as it was without that. 

I fought for over a year to get a meeting with the hospital to discuss why it all happened, to which I was told that I didn’t receive the basic standard of care, not even an apology for their failings. I went over 11 weeks without having my blood pressure and urine checked. These things shouldn’t be happening - the basic levels of care were not met. 

Every day and every time I have to visit my daughter in the cemetery, I wonder what could have been if I had received the right care in the first place.

About seven months after I lost my daughter, I found that Sands were doing meet up groups in my local area and I started going to them and to the Love of Lights walk that they do every year in October. It's been good to know I'm not alone, but it's sad that so many people have lost their little ones."