At 24 I was diagnosed with Endometriosis and was told it could be difficult to fall pregnant and that the time was now if I wanted an opportunity. My partner and myself tried for years, experienced loss and found no answers. We eventually went on to IVF where we successfully fell pregnant each round but unfortunately each pregnancy resulted in miscarriage. We were devastated and through that still continued to fight for a family. We have luckily experienced pregnancies since, but these also resulted in loss. 

Each loss is a hole in your chest and takes a devastating toll on all that impacts your life. I struggled deeply with my mental health and my reason and purpose in life with each loss and the unknown as to why it keeps happening. 

I was then pointed in the direction of Sands. 

Sands provides a huge range of support which has honestly changed how I have managed to live. Sands has supported me through their online support and their helpline on my darkest days. 

Sands helped with giving me the tools and confidence to discuss medical aspects of my losses with professionals, so I felt heard and seen and got the answers I needed, and they ensured I knew what support I needed with going back to work after my losses. 

Their amazing online community have been incredible as well. On the days I feel absolutely lost, at my wits end and alone, I know I can post and there are other people in the community that understand and get me, which make those days just a little easier and a little less lonely. 

All this support has changed every part of my life and because of Sands and the work they do I was able to function again. I reached a stage of no hope, no joy and a sadness I didn't think I could come back from, but now, whilst I still am walking this journey to answers, I am hopeful that maybe one day I will become a family, and I know I can do so much to help repay the support and kindness that’s been given to me in the hardest time of my life.

Since I discovered Sands for my own support and grief, friends of mine have also lost their babies including two friends who lost their beautiful son Jayden. Sands has played a role in not only supporting them but many others who have experienced loss. 

Sands don't discriminate or judge you on when your loss happens, whether it is early or late miscarriage, stillbirth, a baby born but then lost. They understand and acknowledge that grief is grief, and they work hard to understand that everyone's voice is heard and supported.

Sands saved me in ways I'll never be able to thank them for.

Running the London Marathon this Sunday is my way of doing what I can, not only to raise money and awareness for Sands but also a way of turning the pain of loss into something good. Not only for my babies, who I think of everyday but also for Jayden, for all my friends’ babies and everyone else's families and children who deserved to be here but aren't.