40 stories for #Sands40
40 stories for #Sands40, | 13 March 2019

As part of Sands 40th anniversary, we have collected 40 stories by 40 parents, family members and friends affected by the death of a baby, helping them cope and feel less isolated in their grief. These stories are powerful in helping us end the taboo of talking about baby loss and raise awareness of stillbirth and neonatal deaths. Discover 40 stories for #Sands40 

Dear James

I want you to know how proud I am to call you my son.

You were so wanted. Your nursery was all ready and waiting, with a wardrobe full of clothes ready to be worn, and your cuddly toys ready and all lined up in your cot. Mummy may have got the furniture measurements slightly wrong, but Daddy made sure it all managed to fit in......just!

I want you to know baby boy, not all of our time together was sad. We had our best time together as a family at The Treehouse. This was your first home.

To me The Treehouse will always feel like a second home. You even had your own nursery, and nursery rhymes playing.

For the first time since you were born, you looked so cosy and, we got to cuddle you as much as we liked and at any time. You slept next to me in our bedroom for the first time. At last we felt like a proper family.

We spent six happy days there before we went home. They were the most amazing six days, and we crammed in so much, as we didn't know how long you would stay with us. Family and friends came to see you, and you were always being cuddled.

Every moment we spent together was special. You had you first bath there, our first family Sunday dinner and your first picnic.

We even had a family film night in the sensory room. Your first film was Pirates of the Caribbean, and you laid between me and Daddy being cuddled.

I want you to know how loved you were by all of us. They made this most amazing memory book of our time together. I look through it and smile, when I remember all of our happy times we spent together.

You were even given your first ever nickname by Cathyrn one of your nurses at The Treehouse. A nickname that I still call you by now. You will always be my little Pickle.

We even managed to come home for a week, and meet your fur brother and sister. They loved you so much, and used to sit next to your crib, watching over you. Me and Daddy let you sleep between us, we crammed so many memories and cuddles in together.

We knew our time together was coming to an end. After 18 days, you gained your angel wings and left us.

We think you had a bucket list, and it was now complete. We are so proud of you, and for 18 days you put up the most amazing fight. When you passed away that night, I didn't want to let go of you.

I'm pretty sure you took a piece of my heart with you. Leaving you was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

It's nearly three years now, and it still feels like yesterday. I hope you enjoy our cuddles every night before I go to bed, and I still take your comforter to bed with me.

I will always wonder if you were going to like football like your daddy. I'll never know if you were going to love animals as much as your younger brother. I'll make sure your little brother will know all about you. He calls you baby and loves to point at your photos.

Me and your Daddy love you to the moon and back Pickle. You're the first star I look for every night, and you're always have a place in my heart where ever I go or whatever I do.

Love you forever, sleep tight Pickle. 


Picture: Jo, husband Jon and baby James

Sadly 1 in 4 pregnancies in the UK end in miscarriage or stillbirth. This means every 90 minutes a family experiences this devastating tragedy.  We want to reduce this number, but we need your help. 

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