As Father's Day approaches, we want bereaved fathers, their partners and other family members to know that Sands is here to support them if they need us. 

Father’s Day can be a particularly difficult and lonely day for fathers whose baby has died, however long ago. It can be difficult to see other families celebrate the relationship between fathers and their children, or you may feel unsure about talking about pregnancy or baby loss on a day of celebration.

Dads with other children may also have mixed feelings and worry about how to approach the day, and that's ok. To help, we've shared advice and support for coping with Father's Day after baby loss, including tips for the lead-up to the day and ways to navigate difficult emotions. 

Please remember that we are always here for you.  

Top Tips for Dads:

1. Remember the build up may feel more difficult than the day itself. Think about who you can turn to for support. If you’re working, consider letting your employer know if you are finding this week hard and whether you need to take some time off.
2. Do what feels right for you - if you need to stay off social media or cancel plans around this time, that's ok. It's important that you look after yourself and take the time you need.
3. Think about what you could do – on your own or with others – to make Father’s Day special for you. Visiting a special place, looking at photos if you have them, and simply having quiet time in nature can be good ways to make space for yourself.
4. Many dads and partners are finding other practical ways to cope with their grief. These include our Sands United football teams where bereaved men can connect with each other. Find out more about setting up a new Sands United football club or joining an existing local club.

Family, friends, and work colleagues may also feel unsure how to handle the approach to Father's Day with bereaved parents. We have some tips below about things you can do to show you care.

Top tips for Friends and Family:

1. Talk about their baby and if you know their baby's name, make sure you use it when speaking with them. Let them know that you're available to talk or share memories.
2. If you want to, you could give a thoughtful gift such as the Sands Wellbeing Journal or Sands Wellbeing Box, a special Always a Dad token, or write a card that they can read when they’re ready. Check out the items available on the Sands Shop.
3. Sending them a message - let them know you are thinking of them and their baby in the lead up to and / or on the day. A simple gesture like that can help them to feel less alone.
4. Just being aware and making it ok to talk about their baby will be valued. Don’t be afraid to laugh or use humour – you’ll know if it isn’t appropriate, but it can break tension and allow someone to open up.

Whenever someone said Jacob's name it filled me with so much happiness even in really hard moments. Avoiding saying a baby's name is hurtful, and it's really joyful for bereaved parents to hear their baby's name, so be brave enough to say it. 

Jordan, bereaved dad to Jacob

Show someone you're thinking of them

The simplest of actions and words can make all the difference, especially at this time of year. Letting a bereaved dad know that you are thinking of them can go a long way.

Our 'Always a Dad' token is a lovely way to show someone that they are in your thoughts and that their grief is acknowledged. It could be given as a gift, or it could even be used to help start a conversation about pregnancy or baby loss.

Donate £12 to Sands today and receive a special Father's Day token and thoughtful greetings card. 

Order your token

I wear the grief of losing Reuben like a cloak. Once heavy, once painful, but now comforting. It rests on my shoulders quietly, a reminder of love that never left. It doesn't weigh me down anymore; it wraps around me instead. It keeps him close, and in some strange way, it keeps me whole.

Amo, bereaved dad to Reuben 

Support for men

Sands is here to support you for as long as you need. Whether you're a dad, brother, uncle, grandparent, friend or colleague, there is information and support available in many different ways. 

Alongside our general support options, we also have a dedicated men's support group on Facebook and monthly online support meetings specifically for bereaved fathers. 

Helpline on Father's Day:

We're extending the opening hours of the Sands Freephone Helpline for Father’s Day so that anyone, but especially men touched by pregnancy or baby loss can reach out:

• Sunday 21 June (Father’s Day) - 10:00 am to 12:00 pm.
   

The confidential helpline provides a safe place for anyone touched by pregnancy loss or the by the death of a baby to talk. Our experienced Bereavement Support team is there to listen and signpost to further help.

The Sands Freephone Helpline number is: 0808 164 3332. You can also get in touch by email helpline@sands.org.uk or join the online community www.sands.community.