Today 25 March we are encouraging all bereaved parents, families and friends to join in Say Their Name Day to help everyone understand that every baby matters and is loved.
This is the first time Say Their Name Day has been officially marked in the UK – it’s an important opportunity for bereaved parents to say their baby’s name, and to hear it from others.
Sadly, every day in the UK, 13 babies die before, during or shortly after birth. And at least one in six pregnancies end in miscarriage.
Yet despite so many people being touched by pregnancy or baby loss, the issue is too often surrounded by stigma, shame or silence.
“On Say Their Name Day we want to bring together parents who’ve experienced the loss of a baby – to amplify their voices and make sure they are heard.
“Some people may think that talking about a baby who has died, or a lost pregnancy, will further upset those who have experienced this loss. In fact, bereaved parents tell us that when people say nothing about their baby it only leaves them feeling more isolated.
“Of course you may not have given your baby a name, there are many reasons that parents don’t. But you can still mark their memory publicly on the day if that’s something you’d like to do. And it’s absolutely fine if you prefer to say your baby’s name, or remember them, privately on the day.
“The more we speak up and support each other, the more our voices will inspire change and turn understanding into action. So please join us on 25 March for Say Their Name Day to share your baby’s name, or memory, and support other families too.”
- Sands' Chief Executive Clea Harmer
Parents share why saying their baby’s name is so important to them
Sophia was born early at 24+4 weeks on the 23 May 2019. Too tiny for this world, she fought for almost five days. Naveen and her husband were able to talk to her, see her, touch her, change her diaper, and finally got to hold her when there was nothing more that could be done. And at 8am on the 27 May she passed away as they held her; the only time the three of them sat together as a family.
“After the initial days, I felt like I was expected to ‘move on’ and be happy again. And for some reason that meant people stopped mentioning Sophia’s name or remembering her with me. I realised I had to continue to say her name to keep her memory alive, more for myself than anyone else.
"Just before Sophia’s second birthday we raised money and awareness for Say Their Name Day in Sydney. It was the first time I had one of those little tiles from Instagram with her name on it, it felt like I had a reason to share her name again, to say it out loud with other bereaved mums who must be aching to say their babies' names. I remember thinking, how simple it was, just a day to honour the ones who died. And how much significance it holds for someone who doesn’t get to hear that name.
"I think one of the greatest fears of a bereaved parent is that their child will be forgotten. Maybe not so much by those around them, but that you might forget what they felt like, looked like, smelt like. For every person that mentions Sophia by name instead of ‘that experience you have had’, they get a special place in my heart. For the love and respect they are showing my daughter.
"I think everywhere in the world there are parents who will come on board this initiative to say their child’s name. And just like we have days to celebrate occasions or people, this is one of those things that carries so much more than just a name. It is acknowledgement of an existence, of the everyday heartache and love that is carried forward after loss."
- Naveen, Sophia's mum
In the summer of 2016 Jade and her husband Phil had just bought their first home in Barnet, London, and were eight months pregnant with their first child. On 8 June Jade woke up feeling “not right.” She called the hospital and said that her baby hadn’t moved that morning.
At the Maternity Day Unit, a midwife listened for her baby’s heartbeat, looking increasingly nervous. Jade said at this point she knew in her gut that her beautiful dream was over. After a doctor confirmed that their baby had died, Jade and Phil spent the next few days “in a daze”. Their daughter, Casey Hope, was stillborn on Saturday 11 June 2016.
“One of the hardest things was managing other people’s reactions to the literally unspeakable thing that had happened. I slowly met with the friends who were brave enough to face me; several were incredible, listening to our birth story, saying Casey’s name, sending cards and gifts with her name on in the weeks and months afterwards.
"It helps us to be able to say her name, and it helps to feel like we might raise awareness that this happens far more often than it should, and people need to be able to talk about it. The more awareness, the less likely it is to keep happening"
-Jade, Casey Hope's mum
Adam and Lori’s son Alfie was born extremely prematurely at 20 weeks on 12 October 2023. When Alfie arrived, he measured just 24cm long and weighed 330g. He was born alive, but his parents knew that would change. Despite his size and how premature he was, Alfie stayed with Adam and Lori for two hours before going to sleep in their arms.
“In those two hours nothing else mattered except Alfie. Both Lori and I were totally enamoured and in awe of our extremely tiny little boy. We held him. We cuddled him. We spoke to him. We felt his slight moves. We watched his mouth open and close.
“I will always be grateful that we got to share that time with him but I’ll always hate that we didn’t get longer and that things weren’t different.
“I still feel there is a lack of awareness to the grief attached to this, particularly from the perspective of the dad, but also for the mum. Speaking helps. And through reading others’ experiences, it has made me feel more comfort and more grateful for the couple of hours we shared with Alfie.
“We decided that we didn't want to associate Alfie with sadness and wanted to do positive things in Alfie's name to create a positive legacy for him.”
- Adam, Alfie's dad.
The history of Say Their Name Day
Say Their Name Day has been running in Australia since 2019. Every year thousands of parents come together to say their baby’s name and support each other. The day was established in Australia in 2019 by the charity Red Nose that supports bereaved families in a similar way to Sands in the UK.
“The expansion of the campaign internationally was a significant milestone for the organisation and for bereaved families. Say Their Name Day was created to ensure every baby is acknowledged and remembered, and to help families feel supported in speaking about their child.
“We are incredibly proud to have started this day in Australia eight years ago and to see it extend overseas is incredibly humbling. It’s a powerful reminder that the need to recognise and honour babies’ lives is universal.
“Our hope is that Say Their Name Day becomes the start of a global movement that encourages more open conversations about loss and leads to better bereavement support and care for families everywhere.”
- CEO of Red Nose Australia Amy Cooper