Only 1 in 6 bereaved parents across the UK who need NHS mental health support are able to access this.

A Sands report published today (10 July) has revealed that thousands of bereaved parents across the UK are being let down by a fragmented and unequal system of mental health care.

'Lost in the system – bereaved parents’ experiences of mental health care following baby loss' has found that 81% of bereaved parents wanted mental health support, but only 17% of those who wanted this were able to access it through the NHS. Half of those who wanted support said they couldn’t access any at all.

More than a quarter (26%) of parents across the UK told us they had to pay privately to access mental health support.

The report includes recommendations for governments, commissioners and NHS services, including setting national standards, training healthcare professionals, and integrating maternity, neonatal and mental health services.

We are now calling on governments and NHS bodies across the UK to end the postcode lottery and ensure all bereaved parents have access to the support they need, when they need it, and for as long as they need it – no matter where they live or who they are.

You can help make a difference. Please ask your local representative to ensure all bereaved parents can access the care they need.

“The findings of our report show that it is a postcode lottery for bereaved parents looking for specialist mental health support. Fathers and partners, those experiencing earlier pregnancy losses, and people from marginalised communities are especially likely to miss out on care. 
 

“We now need real commitment from governments across the UK to strengthen and expand mental health services which support bereaved parents. This is not just about funding – it’s about awareness, joined-up care and recognising that baby loss is a trauma. Mental health support should not be a luxury for bereaved parents – it’s a necessity.

“Charites like Sands do an excellent job of providing bereavement support but what we offer is not a replacement for the kind of specialist mental health services these parents tell us they so desperately need.”

- Dr Clea Harmer, Chief Executive, Sands

Why specialist mental health support is so important

In the UK, currently 13 babies die shortly before, during or soon after birth every day. At least 1 in 6 pregnancies end in miscarriage. This means that thousands of parents experience the heartbreak and trauma of pregnancy and baby loss every year, and research shows that they are at a significantly higher risk of developing mental health problems, requiring specialist psychological support.

Many parents described feeling shut out of services, abandoned, or unsupported by the system — especially fathers and partners. Too often, they are expected to play a supporting role while their own grief goes unrecognised. 

Highlighting inequalities in access to mental health services

The report also exposes major regional gaps in service provision:

• In England, 86% of mental health commissioners said a Maternal Mental Health Service, which should provide a specialist service for bereaved parents, exists in their area — but access remains patchy and inconsistent with a lack of national guidance or clear oversight.
• In Scotland, 29% of boards said no such specialist service exists.
• In Wales, just 28.5% confirmed the presence of a specialist service.
• In Northern Ireland, 40% said there was a service — but the same number said there wasn’t.

There are also stark inequalities in who receives support:

Fathers and partners are far less likely to be able to access help than mothers or birthing people, because many Integrated Care Boards in England do not commission specific services for them.

During our interviews with Black and South Asian parents they said they were less likely to find NHS support helpful. Reasons cited included:

• Racism e.g. being stereotyped as ‘angry’ when advocating for care.
• Being referred for an inadequate therapy such as general CBT.
• A loss of trust in NHS services following poor care received at the time of their baby’s death.
• Additional barriers for bereaved parents who do not speak English as a first language.  

And LGBTQIA+ families reported a lack of understanding from healthcare professionals about negative or traumatic experiences.

What bereaved parents told Sands about mental health support

Louisa Hendrickson’s son Zion died neonatally in April 2020 after being born prematurely and living for forty-seven minutes. Louisa experienced Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and anxiety following Zion’s death, and despite repeated efforts was unable to access appropriate mental health support from the NHS for five years.

“Access to mental health support after baby loss should not depend on where you live, what you look like, or whether a local charity happens to exist in your area. The NHS is failing to provide equitable, trauma-informed care, and is relying heavily on under-resourced charities who are often only commissioned to focus on the baby loss itself.
“But for many bereaved parents, especially those from marginalised communities, the trauma runs deeper, resurfacing past wounds that need professional, holistic support. That sees the whole person, not just the grief. It’s not enough to offer a listening ear; we need a mental health system that truly meets bereaved parents where they are, with the care they deserve.” 

- Louisa Hendrickson, bereaved parent and Director of Zion’s Lighthouse.

Other parents shared equally painful experiences.

“I felt that I was forgotten about, and everything was designed for my wife. I was just left to deal with my thoughts and feelings by myself, which caused great stress in my life.” 

– A bereaved father to a baby who died during birth.

“I was told over and over again that the lists were too long or there wasn’t capacity for me to access this type of support. I was turned away from multiple organisations and all NHS options.” 

– A bereaved mother to a stillborn baby.

“I have depression and PTSD. I haven’t been able to return to work since. I cry every day. I have had suicidal thoughts. I’ve needed sleeping tablets. I do receive half pay. I no longer speak to my family.” 

– A woman who experienced a miscarriage at 10 weeks.

“My symptoms got worse. I started feeling suicidal.” 

– A bereaved mother whose baby died neonatally.
 

Sands is here to support

Sands provides a safe, understanding and caring community for anyone touched by pregnancy or baby loss. Find out more about all the ways we offer bereavement support.

Download the full report and briefings on Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland.