It must be so hard from people to imagine a time when there was no help for the mothers of stillborn babies: no realisation of the scale of the loss, no advice for fathers, no real sympathy for family members, no understanding of the effect grief can have for years. After all, how can such issues be addressed if they are never acknowledged, let alone spoken about?

That is how it was at the end of 1975, when my second son was stillborn at full term. Looking back I can remember a terrible silence – and the evasive looks of medical staff who seemingly could not bear to admit that this ‘thing’ had happened: an over-turning of the natural order of events.

As a journalist I was able to pour my grief into words – and tell the readers of the Guardian how it felt to bear a stillborn child. The rest is history.

Hazelanne Lewis got in touch and soon the Stillbirth Society was formed – and now we can all look back and give thanks that society is so much more enlightened.

David's son Ruaridh died shortly after he was born in April 1996, and his role as a Trustee is driven by the wish to ensure that bereaved parents receive the best possible care, and to reduce the loss of babies’ lives. He is Chair of the Scottish Steering Group, guiding the work of Sands volunteers in Scotland, and has worked as a psychiatrist for over 30 years and more recently in healthcare improvement.