What is a Sands Befriender?
Sands supports anyone who has been affected by pregnancy or baby loss. Sands Befrienders are an essential part of the support that Sands offers, providing group peer support—either face to face or online—for anyone affected by loss across the United Kingdom.
As a bereaved parent, or someone with experience of baby and pregnancy loss, you will know first-hand how isolating this can be. Sands Befrienders have the ability to hold a welcoming and safe space for those who find themselves in a similar situation. We know from talking to bereaved families that the support received from Sands Befrienders is invaluable and can be life‑changing. Many bereaved parents who received support from Sands local groups go on to volunteer at Sands.
Sands Befrienders volunteer in local groups of two or more volunteers to host regular support meetings, run events, and raise awareness. It is up to each local group to decide what activities best meet the needs of their community, so there is plenty of opportunity to be creative.
We have groups that organise support meetings in the form of coffee and chat, walk‑and‑talks, creative activity‑based sessions, choirs, and running clubs.
If you don’t have a group local to you already, we can help you set one up, or you can volunteer to befriend in our national Online Support Meetings.
Being a befriender for Sands is incredibly rewarding; knowing that you're helping others cope and find their way after the loss of a baby is truly fulfilling.
When my daughter, Lily, passed away, I grappled with the realisation that I would never be able to teach her to ride a bike or walk her down the aisle. However, through my volunteering with Sands and my role as the Southern Ambassador to Daddies With Angels, I've found a way to ensure that my daughter is making a difference in this world. It's my way of being a good father to Lily.
- James, Sands Befriender
Why should I befriend at Sands?
Volunteering at Sands is hugely rewarding and you can take pride in knowing you are helping others who have experienced loss.
Being a Sands Befriender can bring you a sense of community both locally, and within the volunteering community nationally through Sands. We have regional and national volunteer networks, who meet online and in person to share their volunteer experiences, best practice, and provide a friendly space to chat and socialise with others who understand.
We also hold regular Befriender Catch ups twice a month. A dedicated online space for Befrienders for friendly chat, peer support and a chance to explore new ideas and hear from other staff departments at Sands, who work towards saving babies lives and supporting all those affected by loss.
You will receive regular check ins with your dedicated staff member as well as acknowledgement of your volunteering achievements. Our Community and Volunteering team are always here to support you.
We also provide comprehensive New Starter Befriender Training in the form of e-learning and trainer led online modules. Once completed and you are befriending you will also receive regularly reviewed top-up training via our volunteer learning hub. We provide you with all the training, guidance and resources needed to Befriend at Sands, but if you have new ideas, we welcome them too.
There are regular opportunities to give and receive feedback, help curate positive meaningful change and shape the future of volunteering at Sands. Some of these opportunities are our national community days, which happen across the UK annually.
We know the role of Befriender can be challenging. In addition to the support of our Community and Volunteering Staff you are also encouraged to use the Sands Helpline, Online support and the Employee Assistance Programme as needed. We provide live sessions on volunteer wellbeing during Baby Loss Awareness Week, Volunteers week and Befriending week, but you can also access our Volunteer Hub for handy guides.
After the loss of Gemma and Sarah, I wanted to support other bereaved parents, to say to them your life, your hopes and dreams may feel like they have fallen apart, but things will get better, but you will never forget your precious baby. I wanted to give back to bereaved parents in our area after being supported myself by Sands and make them feel they are not alone.
- Fiona, Sands Befriender
Am I ready to become a Sands Befriender?
What do we look for in Sands Befrienders?
- To have lived experience of being a bereaved parent. A person who has experienced your own or your partners pregnancy or baby loss.
- At least 12 months should have elapsed since your own bereavement. Many of our volunteers tell us that they had no idea how first anniversaries would affect them until they happened.
- Able to manage your own experience, emotions and memories of bereavement when supporting others.
- Awareness of your own support needs and the ability to be open with us when you need support.
- Great communication and active listening skills.
- Cultural sensitivity and willingness to learn and support people from all backgrounds, cultures or identities whilst remaining non-judgemental.
- Compassionate, with strong empathy and ability to hold space for conversation when others may be vulnerable in a group environment.
- The agreement to uphold and practice good safeguarding processes and policy learnt from the New Starter Befriender Training.
- Awareness of the importance of confidentiality and ability to follow the GDPR procedures and guidance correctly.
- A positive attitude and understanding of volunteering, and the desire to make improvements to local/online support together as a united national charity.
To ensure you understand the role of a Sands Befriender and the type of support available locally and online, you should have attended at least two support meetings within the last year, at either a local in person Sands group or online with Sands. Please note that you must attend as a bereaved parent seeking support and not as an observer with a view to becoming a volunteer in future. This is to ensure the space is protected for bereaved parents seeking support and does not become overwhelming with too many staff, volunteers, and volunteer applicants in one space.
I got involved with befriending after attending some of our local support meetings, and feeling like this was something I could get behind. It felt like I was not only giving back to a group that really supported me when I needed it, but also that I could make a difference to someone else who was in need of a listening ear.
Having that local support made all the difference after losing my son, and I wanted to make sure that other people were able to access the same support as well.
- Steph, Sands Befriender
If you need assistance booking onto online support or attending a nearby group, please email volunteering@sands.org.uk
Befriending can be an emotionally demanding role, and both you and we need to be sure you are ready to befriend safely for yourself and other bereaved families. If befriending isn't right for you at this time, that's ok.
Apply now
Ready to become a Sands Befriender? Apply now.
We look forward to receiving your application, if you still have any questions or would like any support in completing your application please contact volunteering@sands.org.uk.
Thank you considering becoming a Sands Befriender, together we can make a difference to bereaved families across the UK.
Befriending for Sands has given me a sense of belonging, I feel connected to a community who really understands my grief, whether it's helping support other bereaved parents or communicating with the wonderful Sands team.
When our baby son (George) died, I vowed he would not die in vain, I felt a strong desire to give something back.
The time I dedicate to Sands in my befriending role is in George's memory. Being a Sands Befriender provides true empathy to others, as well as giving me a sense of purpose which aids my own healing and supports my general wellbeing.
If you feel you are ready to take on this role, you may find it to be the most fulfilling way to commemorate your baby.
- Hayley, Sands Befriender
FAQs
What do I need to apply? And what happens next?
To apply you need to fill out the application form. Please familiarise yourself with the information first.
We will ask for your contact information, relevant experience and skills for the role and where and when you attended local or online support meetings at Sands.
During your application form you will also be asked to provide two references including their names, role/relationship to you and their email addresses. These can be professional, educational or from previous volunteering experience but we are unable to take references from family members. If you have been attending a local group and wish to befriend there, please do let us know.
Once we have reviewed your application, we will invite you to book an informal Microsoft Teams (You do not need an account) or telephone interview with the Community and Volunteering Team.
If successful you will be sent a volunteer email address and log in, so that you can begin your New Starter Befriender Training.
What support will I receive when I become a Befriender?
Being a Sands Befriender can bring you a sense of community both locally, and within the volunteering community nationally through Sands. We have regional and national volunteer networks, who meet online and in person to share their volunteer experiences, best practice, and provide a friendly space to chat and socialise with others who understand.
We also hold regular Befriender Catch ups twice a month. A dedicated online space for Befrienders for friendly chat, peer support and a chance to explore new ideas and hear from other staff departments at Sands, who work towards saving babies lives and supporting all those affected by loss.
You will receive regular check ins with your dedicated staff member as well as acknowledgement of your volunteering achievements. Our Community and Volunteering team are always here to support you.
We also provide comprehensive New Starter Befriender Training in the form of e-learning and trainer led online modules. Once completed and you are befriending you will also receive regularly reviewed top-up training via our volunteer learning hub. We provide you with all the training, guidance and resources needed to Befriend at Sands, but if you have new ideas, we welcome them too.
Befriender New starter Training
The new starter Befriender Training is delivered online and is a mix of three self lead e-learning modules, and four live webinar style modules that are lead by our Sands Training team.
E-learning modules 1 and 2 can be done at a time that suits you, but must be completed before the live trainer led modules 3 and 4.
The live webinar sessions with our trainers need to be pre-booked and vary between weekday evenings and Saturdays throughout the year. All bookings are through our Volunteer Learning hub.
It is possible to complete the training in a calendar month and we suggest booking the modules as close together as possible for better learning and continuity. However, you can spread the modules out over twelve months to suit your availability. The required order of the modules is below:
E-learning Module 1 – Welcome to Sands
E-learning Module 2 – Introduction to pregnancy and baby loss
Live Webinar Trainer Led Module 3 – Grief and loss
Live Webinar Trainer Led Module 4 - Communication
E-learning Module 5 - Safeguarding
Live Webinar Module 6 – Being a Befriender
Live Webinar Module 7 – Your wellbeing as a Befriender
There are also regular opportunities to give and receive feedback, help curate positive meaningful change and shape the future of volunteering at Sands. Some of these opportunities are our national community days, which happen across the UK annually.
We know the role of Befriender can be challenging. In addition to the support of our Community and Volunteering Staff you are also encouraged to use the Sands Helpline, Online support and the Employee Assistance Programme as needed. We provide live sessions on volunteer wellbeing during Baby Loss Awareness Week, Volunteers week and Befriending week, but you can also access our Volunteer Hub for handy guides.
For those considering becoming a Befriender, it's important to know that there's a wealth of support from Sands and their network of volunteers. I've never felt alone or without guidance, and being part of this supportive community is a beautiful way to honour all our lost little ones.
- James, Sands Befriender
I’m not sure I am ready to Befriend but I still want to volunteer, what else can I do?
There are many different ways you can get involved and support the work of Sands. Some of these volunteer roles include:
- Group Assistant
- Group Fundraiser
- Group Admin/Social Media
- Remembrance Events organiser
- Knitters and Crocheters
- Campaigners
- Parent Speakers
If you are from a Black or South Asian community there are also opportunities to volunteer on the South Asian and Black community steering groups, to help shape the future of support for your communities and healthcare.
Contact volunteering@sands.org.uk for more information about the above roles, we would love to hear from you.