On the 4th of January 2019 my partner woke with back pain. After fainting in the bedroom, I called 999 and an ambulance was dispatched. 

She was rushed into hospital where the staff looked after her and began scanning. After what seemed an eternity, we were hit with the words we feared "I'm sorry, there's no heartbeat". The world around us disappeared in an instant. We sobbed and sobbed for our little boy, pleading with the world for him to be okay. 

My partner was then fast-tracked to surgery where it was discovered she had a placental abruption. She had lost a significant amount of blood internally, but through the fantastic work of the hospital team, they saved my partners life as she was only minutes from passing away when they got her into surgery. 

The weeks and months that passed were the darkest times of our life

Our daughter Isobel who was only five at the time struggled to understand her grief and our pain in her suffering as well was almost too much to bear, but she was our reason to get up every day and we fought on. 

Over the course of the last six years, I have turned my grief into a driving force behind campaigning for change, fundraising for the multiple charities that helped us and helping as many other families as possible by sharing my story and helping them to find the support they need. 

The positive energy I take from my grief has helped me to work with my employer on improving the support available to our workforce

Creating better policies, better guidance and recognising Baby Loss Awareness Week across the group for the first time in its history. When I see our building light up pink and blue in October it will be my Charlie’s legacy for the world to see.

My boy lives on in every conversation I have, every positive change I help to create and every person I can help, Charlie is there, watching over me and guiding me to help those I can.

Sands has provided us with so much support over the years

Most importantly, their guidance on how to approach conversations with younger children, and I found a lot of help in discussing what had happened with Isobel through Sands.

We also received a lot of support through The Laura Centre who provided a free of charge counselling service for myself, my partner and my daughter for over two years.

The Bodie Hodges Foundation also helped my daughter with a children's memory box that contained activity packs for creating memories of Charlie and books on grief for children. They also provided us with a week’s free stay at Bodies Boathouse, which proved priceless in helping our family to rebuild and bond again.