A reflection from Carolyn Bray, Assistant Director of Income & Supporter Engagement at Sands, on the emotions of the festive season and the making of our new winter appeal film.
As both a bereaved parent and someone who works with Sands, this time of year, and the build-up to December, always brings a bundle of mixed emotions, and this year is no different. The sparkle, celebration and anticipation can be beautiful, but also so very poignant and bittersweet.
And if yours are anything like mine, your feeds and screens have been filled with all the big Christmas adverts. I’ve watched most releases so far, and did enjoy the playful ‘Puss in Boots’, take on gift giving and M&S’ Traffic Jamming! But it’s the latest John Lewis ad that has sparked the most discussions here at Sands, in our online groups, on emails and calls to our helpline.
I know that for many bereaved parents and families, even though their advert is not directly about baby loss, it can still be a difficult watch. A sad reminder of the moments we missed, the memories we longed to make, the hugs we hoped for, of what could have been. And that’s why Sands is here for you, no matter when your loss happened, because we understand.
This time of year, is also a very important time for charities when lots of charities start to share their own fundraising appeals and films too. Even beyond fundraising, the festive period allows charities to remind the public why their work matters, and to highlight stories of hope, connection, and impact. It’s a time when new supporters often discover a charity for the first time, drawn in by moving campaigns or word of mouth. And for Sands this is no different as we find ourselves in the final stages of completing our winter appeal film.
I’m so proud and privileged to be part of this project, and this year feels even extra special because I’m so excited to share with you that Sands is once again working with the talented film producer Phil Beastall. You may be familiar with Phil’s work when he first made headlines in 2018 with his powerful, low-budget film Love is a Gift, which went viral and was hailed by many as “better than the John Lewis ad.”
Sands was later delighted to be asked to collaborate with him in 2023 on Lewis Capaldi’s Pointless video - a moving portrayal of how Sands United began. If you’ve not seen it, do take a watch and read more about how it came about here.
I hope you’ll agree that Phil really has got a unique talent, and his ability to capture emotions on screen in such a powerful way is very special. That’s what he’s brought to Sands again this year. Working together I believe we’ve created a film that we hope will help others better understand why there is such a need for the community of support that Sands builds across the UK for those that have personal experience of loss.
It’s not an easy watch, because pregnancy and baby loss isn’t easy
The film has been inspired by the experiences Sands volunteers, supporters, helpline users and many others have kindly shared with us over the years. It’s not an easy watch, because pregnancy and baby loss isn’t easy. It’s devastating and heartbreaking and lifechanging. But that’s exactly why Sands exists: so that no one faces that devastation alone. Listening, and supporting and walking alongside families for as long as they may need.
The supportive Sands community understands the pain of losing a baby, providing comfort and connection, showing that there is hope, and in time, there will be lightness, joy and laughter, and that this can exist alongside grief and sadness and memories. Our new film puts that onto screen, and we hope will encourage more people to realise just how important and needed that support is and to donate.
Because I’m one of those bereaved parents that Sands supported, I have that network of friendship and support. Even 23 years on, I’m connected to people who get it and understand because they’ve been there, and by others who may not have first-hand personal experience but empathise and support Sands because they recognise the importance and value of what we do.
I did some focus group testing of an early version of the film, and they agreed with me. Yes, it did stop them in their tracks, yes, it did make them reach for the tissues, and whether they resonated with it on a personal level, or were just moved by the power of the film, they shared with me they were looking forward to being able to share it with friends, family and their own networks to allow the opportunity to give a small insight into their experience and to demonstrate why we need to support charities like Sands.
I’ve shared some behind-the-scenes images from the making of the film hopefully to give you just a flavour of what’s to come. And I hope when you get to see the film later this month, you’ll feel the same as me. Proud. Proud to be part of this special community that is here for each other and is there to help more families have a different story to tell and help them find the words.
Because when we speak up about baby loss, when we call for change together, and when we support each other, we save lives. For Babies. For Families. Everywhere.
