Olivia has been nominated by Gemma and her husband Justin who found out at 17 weeks that their much longed for IVF baby had passed away in March 2023. They were absolutely devastated. It had taken three years to get to this point and Gemma had experienced five early miscarriages.
Gemma said: “The moment we were in Olivia’s presence we felt comforted and reassured. She was so kind, thoughtful and caring with us. But what really shone through was the respect and importance she showed to our baby. Even though it’s referred to as a ‘late miscarriage’ Olivia reassured us that he was still our baby and would be treated as though we were full term, bringing us clothes to dress him in and taking photos.”
The Elaine Thorp Award for Bereavement Care aims to recognise the vital work done by midwives, nurses, and other health professionals to care for parents affected by pregnancy loss or the death of their baby.
For Olivia, who works at Wythenshawe Hospital, knowing that she is making a difference to a family reaffirms why she wanted to be a Bereavement Midwife.
She said: “You do what you can for the families and you do it for the love of the job. I'll ask them, did they have any birth preferences, and do they want to do skin to skin when their baby has been born? Or I'll ask them if they know what they're having and if they've given their baby a name.
“And then we'll try and use their name in conversation and say things like telling them that their baby is beautiful. And then giving them opportunities to bond with their baby, because a lot of the time all the things that parents of a live baby want to do, bereaved parents want to do all those things; like give their baby their first bath and change their baby's nappy. All of that can be really important for bereaved parents.”
Olivia’s compassion shone through in Gemma’s nomination.
“Although a traumatic situation, the birth is a time I remember with joy due to the care I received and the time I spent with my son. Comments such as ‘he’s beautiful’ meant more than anything and using his name ‘Conán’. Understanding the importance of what our baby meant to us is invaluable. Her big, warm hugs are what got me through.”
On hearing that she had been nominated for an Elaine Thorp Award for Bereavement Care, Olivia said: “It gives you a boost because it can be a hard job, so it's really lovely to have this opportunity to celebrate bereavement care and also raise awareness with other professionals about the importance of bereavement care for families.
“I think sometimes people are a bit scared of saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing. It's having the confidence to know that it's OK to have a normal conversation and to talk to the parents as if they're having a live baby. And I think that's one thing that a lot of families have said, is that treating them the same as we would for any birthing parent is really important to them. So that's what we try and do.”
Olivia’s support continued once Gemma was home. She regularly checked in, even if only for a chat and sent Gemma a book to help navigate her grief.
Gemma said: “In the most upsetting and painful experience of your life, it takes a very special person to make you feel even a tiny bit better and a little bit less alone. Her gentle nature and care will always be remembered. She really goes the extra mile to help in any way she can.”
Find out more about the Elaine Thorp Award for Bereavement Care.