As an 8 year old child, my baby brother died when he was three weeks’ old from Pulmonary Atresia. We didn’t know he was poorly until he was struggling to breathe in my mum’s arms and got rushed to hospital by our local doctor where they couldn’t save him. He was born at home, and I remember so clearly holding him in a brown towel when he was only a few minutes old and the following weeks cuddling him. The day of his death is also etched in my memory. My mum received support from Sands, so I have been aware of the amazing work of the charity since then in 1992. 

My mother in-law also lost a baby when he was one week old, sadly she didn’t receive any support in 1979 and only really processed her loss in her 60s.                                                       

We lost our beautiful daughter on 23rd November 2017 at 23 weeks and five days pregnant. Her 20 week scan revealed that she had Ventriculomegaly and Tetralogy of Fallot. After nearly a month of intrusive and horrible tests and scans, we had to make the horrendous decision whether to risk continuing with the pregnancy, which itself came with so many additional tragic decisions, or to terminate the pregnancy. A decision I wouldn’t wish upon anyone. She was so perfect when she was born. 

We then suffered a late miscarriage with our little boy on 27th July 2018 after bleeding from six weeks’ pregnant but scans showing everything as being okay, just a large haemorrhage, until I went into labour at 14 weeks’ pregnant. I got to meet and hold our precious tiny boy, but my husband found it too distressing after losing our daughter eight months’ before. 

I researched local support through Sands in 2018 but really worried about people’s reactions having had a termination for medical reasons and almost didn’t feel I had valid reasons to attend so I didn’t pursue it, although I recognise now how valid our situation was being put in such an awful position. I did receive a few weeks’ counselling from a charity called Footsteps.