Louise shares how her pregnancy with her daughter Pandora wasn’t straightforward. She was diagnosed with Trisomy 21 and a condition known as “double bubble,” meaning she would need surgery after birth. Despite this and experiencing reduced movements, which caused Louise to visit the hospital multiple times, she was reassured and sent home each time. After a previous stillbirth with her son Cruze, Louise was extremely anxious. 

It was during her fourth visit to hospital with reduced movements that Louise was told Pandora’s heart had stopped during a scan. The next day she experienced her second stillbirth. 

After Pandora was born, Louise took her home where she and her family spent 12 days with their beautiful girl. Pandora was part of family life, and her brothers and sisters were able to hold her and spend time with her. 

Since losing Pandora, Louise has struggled deeply with her mental health. She’s sharing Pandora’s story because she doesn’t want another parent to go through what she’s been through and she believes that when a mother says something doesn’t feel right, she should be listened to. 

Please be aware that Louise has chosen to share pictures of her daughter Pandora with her story. 

“My name is Louise, and I am a mum to my beautiful babies Cruze and Pandora 🤍 

Before Pandora, I sadly lost my son Cruze in September 2023. Cruze had Trisomy 21 and a severe heart condition. Losing him changed everything for me and meant that my pregnancy with Pandora was considered high risk. 

My pregnancy with Pandora was not straightforward. I had a very low PAPP-A level (0.17), which meant I was at higher risk of placental complications. I was also diagnosed with gestational diabetes, and there were ongoing concerns throughout. Pandora was also diagnosed with Trisomy 21 and a condition known as “double bubble,” meaning she would need surgery after birth. 

Despite everything, she was my baby, and I loved her deeply from the moment I knew she was there. 

Towards the end of my pregnancy, I began to feel that something wasn’t right. 

I experienced reduced movements and attended the hospital multiple times, worried about my baby. Each time, I was reassured and sent home. 

On the 2nd of March, I attended a scan for Pandora and was told that everything was good. I had also met with the surgeon who would operate on her after birth, and we were reassured that Pandora would be okay and would just need time in intensive care. 

Even then, I told them that her movements were starting to feel less. I was told this was likely due to the excess fluid. 

In the early hours of the 3rd of March, around 12:30am, I returned to hospital because I was concerned. I was placed on a CTG monitor, where abnormalities were recorded. I was advised to return daily for monitoring and to come straight back if movements became weaker. 

Later that same day, I returned again. I explained clearly that I could not feel Pandora physically moving and that I had not felt her move since 6pm the day before. Despite this, I was reassured again that it was likely due to the fluid and was told to go home and return if needed. 

By this point, I was extremely anxious, especially due to my previous stillbirth. I knew something wasn’t right, but I was reassured repeatedly. 

I never imagined for one moment that Pandora would pass away. 

On the 5th of March, I went back into hospital again as I still had not felt any movement at all. When I was placed on the monitor, they struggled to find her heartbeat. I asked if they had heard it and I was told they had, but that it was difficult due to the fluid. 

I was then taken for a scan. As soon as the scan began, I looked at the doctor and I knew. In that moment, I knew my baby was gone. 

I screamed and ran out of the hospital in complete shock. I couldn’t process what was happening. I had always been told Pandora was doing well, and I never believed this could happen. 

The following day, on the 6th of March, I returned to hospital to give birth to Pandora. I chose to have a natural birth. 

Before labour began, a scan confirmed that Pandora had passed away. I was then given medication to start labour. I went through the pain of labour knowing I would not hear my baby cry. 

Not long after, Pandora was born. She was beautiful. She was placed straight onto my chest, where she belonged. 

We spent precious time with her, bathing her, holding her, and creating memories we will carry forever. 

We brought Pandora home with us and spent 12 days with our beautiful girl. 

She was part of our family life, sitting in the living room with us, watching films, having cuddles, and being surrounded by love. Her brothers and sisters were able to hold her and spend time with her. She was, and always will be, so deeply loved. 

Saying goodbye was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Pandora left our home for her funeral, and I carried her coffin myself. No parent should ever have to do that. 

Since losing Pandora, I have been struggling deeply with my mental health. I experience flashbacks, and I constantly hear the words, “I’m sorry, there is no heartbeat,” over and over in my head. 

The grief is overwhelming, and it is something I carry with me every single day. My world changed forever the day I lost her. 

I am sharing Pandora’s story because I never want another parent to go through what I have been through. 

I believe that when a mother says something doesn’t feel right, she should be listened to. 

If sharing Pandora’s story can raise awareness, help another parent feel less alone, or even save another baby’s life, then her life will continue to make a difference. 

Pandora will always be my daughter, and she will always be loved 🤍 

Sands has helped me feel less alone in my grief after losing my daughter Pandora. 

Having support from people who understand baby loss has made a big difference to me. It has also given me the confidence to share Pandora’s story and raise awareness, which means so much to me."