I was 23 weeks and 4 days pregnant, just had my 20 weeks scan and decided to start to buy baby things. So I was out shopping looking at cots would you believe when I felt a strange pop, I looked down and saw water everywhere. A lady in the shop said all excited your waters have broken, I said they can’t be its too soon. I was rushed to hospital to be told baby was fine but all the water around my baby had gone so had to go into labour. This started on the sat full of pain, heart ache and fear, where I had my baby on the Monday morning.

My beautiful baby boy was born on 21st May weighing 1lb 4oz I couldn’t believe how perfect he was. Before my water broke I had an injection as I came into contact with chicken pox as I had never had it, my waters broke a day after I am convinced this started it but have no proof. I told consultants I would never have the injection again. Which I didn’t which they advised against.

I now have a boy aged 15 and daughter aged 13 who are my world, they both know all about their little brother and they always tell people about him which makes me proud.

It’s the hardest thing I have dealt with losing a child as no one understands even with people saying you will have another you will be fine, which is so not true. It never goes away. No one can know the hurt you feel leaving hospital with no baby but still a bump showing its awful being given tablets to prevent milk it’s such a whirl wind. Heart breaking. And still classed as a miscarriage which is so wrong.

I love you Brandon with all my heart love you always my beautiful boy. You are and will be remembered by us all forever we will make sure of that. X