I became pregnant with my first born on Boxing Day 2016.
I was over the moon to be a mummy for the very first time I found out I was having a girl that I always wanted to be my first born. I had her name picked out me & her daddy was going to call her Lexi.
I was so excited to buy my baby clothes, her cot ,I was excited to announce my pregnancy to everyone. I was overwhelmed to see her first scan, looking at my baby for the very first time every time I had my scans. It was making me prouder every time. Everything was going so well for me & my baby. We got her cot up and everything that I needed for my baby was up and built.
Posting photos up how many weeks to go and I was showing off my bump.
Even going to see hear Lexi’s heartbeat was absolutely amazing for me. I couldn’t be any more happier. I was so looking forward to my baby girl arriving.
Until suddenly a heartbreak hit me. I continued to go for my scans until I got told that every part of my baby’s body was stopping growing. By this point I got really upset and worried. I thought all sorts until I went back to my other scan where I got told everything was fine again. This made me feel happy again until another heartbreak. Again I got told Lexi's kidney was swollen. By this time they had to send me through to the Royal in Edinburgh for a special scan for my baby.
Everything was dark. I got told my baby had a tumour in her kidney. I was heartbroken. I had to give birth to my baby girl at 34 weeks by c section at the Royal.
My baby was unwell from the day she was born. My baby had to get blood transfusions. To this point Lexi had to get transferred to sick kids were she spent her last 6 days. I had a choice to give her 48 hrs or an operation.
I took the choice to give her the operation. I thought everything was going to be fine during her operation. We got a heartbreaking news that our baby girl slipped away after her operation. I was heartbroken my baby only lasted 6 days. I could not hold my baby girl or have skin to skin contact with her.
My baby girl was in sick kids until she got picked up for her funeral. I didn’t want to bury my baby girl. I wanted to hold her and not let her go.
I have never ever got over my baby girl. I never had the proper support. Lexi’s birthday and Christmases are the worst. I don’t get over it. I miss my baby girl so much to not see her everyday breaks my heart. I just wish I could see my baby girl one more time.
I want to share my story with everyone. Thank you for letting me share my story with you x