I never experienced grief so closely and because my oldest daughter was having a baby I was so excited, that I was going to be a grandma.

Losing Lucas was and still is heartbreaking and is something we are still dealing with.

My first baby with husband Antony, although I had a 5 year old little girl Sophie who was so excited to be a big sister!

It was late in 2018 when I found out I was pregnant with our second child, he was a surprise.

Elijah is my second child, I already have a little girl aged three.

Starting when I found out I became pregnant, I was over the moon I couldn't wait to tell My partner, my mum and my friends!

My story starts in 1975, all through my pregnancy I was having problems, my baby was due in June.