Stillbirth: Donna shares how when her first grandchild, Elsie-Jacqueline was stillborn at 34 weeks in December 2024 what should have been one of the best days of her life turned into one of the worst. Donna was present during Elsie’s birth to support her son and his partner, but she shares how seeing her own child go through so much grief is something that will never leave her for the rest of her life.
For Elsie’s funeral, Donna changed the words of a poem to include Elsie’s name, and this was read out for her. She shares how today her family talk about Elsie all the time to keep her memory alive. They will never forget her and will love her forever.
Please be aware that Donna has chosen to share pictures of her grandchild, Elsie, alongside her story.
On 23rd December 2024 I very sadly lost my first grandchild Elsie-Jacqueline who was stillborn at 34 weeks.
What should have been one of the best days of my life turned into one of the worst.
I was present at her birth and seeing my son and his partner in so much anguish, sadness and pain was the most devastating feeling. I tried to push my own feelings aside to support them but inside I was truly broken. Seeing your own child going through so much grief is something that will never leave me for the rest of my life.
When Elsie was born, I treated her like she was alive, not stillborn. I was talking to her and saying how much she looked like her mummy and daddy. I held her and after my son cut her cord passed her to him and we sat and held her. It was all such a blur of pain and grief. It was also Christmas and the hospital was full of decorations and families, and we were just trying to hold ourselves together at such a heartbreaking time.
From the moment I got the call to say Elsie had passed away my heart broke in two.
We will never forget her, and we talk about her all the time to keep her memory alive. We will love her forever and she will be in our hearts forever.
At Elsie’s funeral I changed the wording of a poem called ‘Too pure to stay ‘ by Ron Tranmer. I edited it to grandchild as it also reads sweet child, and it was read out for me. I’ve shared it below:
At the loss of my dear sweet grandchild,
words cannot explain,
how much the heart is broken,
or how awful is the pain.
“Why doest Thou take little ones?”
I asked as I knelt to pray.
I felt His spirit telling me;
“They are too pure to stay.”
I had the warmest feeling
that my granddaughter Elsie is happy and waits,
until we are together again
past Heaven’s golden gates.
Time will reunite us,
in not too many years.
In heavens place, we’ll embrace
and joy will replace tears.
Since losing Elsie, my son has found support from Sands. He’s very involved with Sands FC Nottingham, the football team. He plays for them and gets lots of support from all the other dads who have suffered from baby loss too. I am most grateful to Sands for their support.
