Faye shares how at 23 weeks pregnant she noticed her daughter hadn’t moved much. She called triage and saw her community midwife who couldn’t find a heartbeat. She went to hospital, still thinking everything would be okay as she’d heard a lot of people mention they’d had reduced movements and their baby was fine, but unfortunately at the hospital it was confirmed her baby girl didn’t have a heartbeat and she had experienced a second trimester loss. 48 hours later Faye gave birth to her beautiful girl Esme. She shares how two and a half months on, she and her partner have tattoos of Esme’s hand and footprints and a sanctuary space with Esme’s urn, pictures and blankets where they can spend time with her. 

Please be aware that Faye has chosen to share pictures of her daughter Esme’s feet and tattoos of her hand and footprints with her story. 

Becoming pregnant was a massive shock to us at first as I had the coil in, but after getting our heads around the idea we felt this was a sign and it’s exactly what we needed in this new chapter of life.

 At 23 weeks pregnant I noticed I hadn’t felt her move much. She was always an active baby and kicked me pretty hard just the week before. I rang triage and they didn’t seem too concerned. I went to my community midwife, and she couldn’t find a heartbeat after trying for about 10 minutes, so she rushed me to triage straight away. I really thought everything was going to be okay as I’ve heard a lot of people say they’ve had reduced movement, and it was all fine. Unfortunately, not for us, the dreaded words “I’m so sorry, there’s no heartbeat” stick with me. 

After 48 hours I went back to the hospital and gave birth to my beautiful girl Esme. We took lots of pictures and spent our last few hours with her before entering the real world again. I never thought I would say I didn’t want to leave a hospital. 

It’s been two and a half months now. We have a little sanctuary space with a shelf for her little urn, with pictures and her blankets. It’s our safe space to spend time with her. We both got tattoos with her hand and footprints and made our own rings with her name and the time she was born 3:33 angel numbers. 

I think Sands is such an amazing charity and has made many couples and families feel heard and not alone.