Enya Jean Lethwaite was born 6th May 2018 sleeping.
She was the happiest time of our lives and brought so much Joy in the few months she was in my tum.
At my 20 week scan they noticed I might have funnelling of the cervix which is very uncommon in ladies which have had no surgery or not any children before which was me.
I was sent away with an appointment for 2 weeks to come back. This is where it all went wrong, my cervix had shortened but they wouldn't tell us what this meant or how much it had shortened. They sent us away to come back to a clinic in 5 days (longest 5 days of my life).
By this time I had 0.5cm left of my cervix and they advise I had a stitch in my cervix to help prevent labour (I needed to get to 24 weeks for her to have a good chance to survive). Unfortunately my waters broke on the table but I didn't go into labour.
The consultant said I was prone to womb infections but didn't say out serious these could be. 4th May (a week and half later) I knew my little girl wasn't her wiggly little self and expressed this to midwifes, her heartbeat was strong right up until 6th May, at around half 6 I wasn't well and They took me down to the high dependency unit where they scanned me and my little girls heart wasn't beating. I was taken to the labour ward and I was getting more and more ill so they brought her by c section in which I needed to be asleep.
I had ecoli and sepsis. I didn't wake up for 8 days after giving birth so I never got to meet or hold my perfect little girl. I have pictures and she had so many cuddles from all her grandparents and her uncle.
While in my induced coma I wasn't responding to treatment and on the 8th May I was going to die so the doctors had to give me an emergency hysterectomy. This saved my life.
After all this trauma (and that's only a summary), I am determined that my little angel will be remembered for the happy moments and that me and her Dad will live our lives in her name and go after our dreams. We will not give up. We are going to try and be approved for adoption and will hopefully be able to give a child or children a happy loving home and a great start in life.
I think the thing that I want to say to people who have lost there baby or child is that you are still a Mummy and a Daddy, it's ok to feel proud and talk about them in a happy way. I know all I want to do is talk about Enya and people look at me like are you going to break or they don't know what to say but she is amazing and I want people to know she is so I will keep talking about her.