Please be aware Katie has chosen to share a picture of baby Nelly’s hand and a picture of her rainbow baby Billie with her story.

I wanted a baby for so long, it took me so long to conceive but when I was 26 years old, I was finally pregnant with my first child. My first time being a mummy and at 26 weeks pregnant I lost my little girl, Nelly. She was born sleeping; it was the most traumatic time of my life. 

The night she was born was so sad but also so beautiful. My heart will always have a piece missing that only Nelly could fill. 

After Nelly I got pregnant with my rainbow baby, another beautiful little girl, Billie. She was born at 37 weeks and when she cried, I felt like I could breathe again. I kept all Nelly’s clothes and found comfort in Billie wearing them. When Billie grew out of the clothes, I still kept them, I just can’t let go. 

Losing a baby changes you so much. I don’t recognise the girl before when I look at old photos of myself.