Sammyjo found out her baby girl Alicia’s heart has stopped on New Years Eve 2023 at 39 weeks pregnant. She shares how thanks to a Sands memory box, she and her family were able to make lots of memories and keepsakes of Alicia including giving their oldest daughter a teddy from the box so when she misses her baby sister she can use the teddy to give her a hug from earth. 

Please be aware Sammyjo has chosen to share pictures of the side of baby Alicia’s head, her handprints and her oldest daughter with her story. 

On New Year's Eve 2023 we were told that our baby girl Alicia's heartbeat had stopped. I was 39 weeks pregnant, due in just four days. She was perfect, fully formed and deeply loved. We had made it to full term, never expecting to hear such devastating words so late in the pregnancy. 

Two days later, I was induced and went through labour as normal. In the days leading up to it, my mind was filled with fear: 

“How can I do this?” 

“How will I cope?” 

“How will it feel to meet my baby and not hear her cry?” 

There was so much worry, yet at the same time, I felt completely numb. 

But during labour, something changed. 

A peace came over me that I can’t fully explain. In the middle of the pain and heartbreak, I felt peace, joy, I felt love. When Alicia was born, she was the most beautiful, perfect baby girl. I looked at her and, through tears, I smiled. That peace didn’t make sense in the natural, but I now know it was God. His love covered me, carried me, and gave me strength in the hardest moment of my life. 

The amazing midwives brought in a Sands memory box, and thanks to the memory box, we were able to make lots of memories and keepsakes. 

I would never have thought about doing anything that these boxes provide without it. The memory box provided us with a box for a little clump of Alicia’s hair, hand and footprint kits, a key chain with two parts, one for baby and one for me, which I put onto my necklace and so much more. The most precious thing we got was two little teddys, one that we put under Alicia’s cheek and the other that we gave to our oldest daughter. Anytime she misses her little sister she cuddles the teddy and gives her a hug from earth. Without the teddy I can't imagine how we would have told her that her sister wasn't able to come home. 

I honestly find it heartbreaking to think families years ago didn't have these boxes. Two years on I still look through that box on hard days. 

I am so thankful for all that Sands do, and in May I took part in the Sands Leap of love and jumped 10k out of a plane. 

I would never have booked this if it wasn't for Sands and I’d like to thank them for giving me the opportunity to face my fears. I took on the challenge as a reminder not to rely on my own strength but to trust in God and trust he will carry me through.