It took Katie a long time to conceive but at 26 years old, she finally became pregnant with her first child. Sadly at 26 weeks pregnant she lost her little girl, Nelly, and she was born sleeping. Katie shares how she has since gone on to have her rainbow baby, another little girl called Billie, and reflects on how losing a baby has changed her. 

Please be aware Katie has chosen to share a picture of baby Nelly’s hand and a picture of her rainbow baby Billie with her story.

I wanted a baby for so long, it took me so long to conceive but when I was 26 years old, I was finally pregnant with my first child. 

My first time being a mummy and at 26 weeks pregnant I lost my little girl, Nelly. She was born sleeping; it was the most traumatic time of my life. 

The night she was born was so sad but also so beautiful. My heart will always have a piece missing that only Nelly could fill. 

After Nelly I got pregnant with my rainbow baby, another beautiful little girl, Billie. She was born at 37 weeks and when she cried, I felt like I could breathe again. I kept all Nelly’s clothes and found comfort in Billie wearing them. When Billie grew out of the clothes, I still kept them, I just can’t let go. 

Losing a baby changes you so much. I don’t recognise the girl before when I look at old photos of myself.